I know a lot of people do not like Snape, but I love him and how much I relate to his character.
Snape was bullied obsessively. He made one mistake and lost the woman he loved forever. He then had to watch as the boy that lived to make him miserable dated, married and impregnated the woman he loved. And let’s be honest, James was a little shit. I don’t know man, but if I had to watch the woman I love date a little shit because I am not good enough (not even after standing outside of Gryffindor for hours to apologize), I’d be like fml too.
I recognize that Snape was able to defend himself against the Marauders and gave as good as he got. But that doesn’t matter. Any time there are four people against one, it effects that lone person. Even if that person comes out on top most of the time. There is still a feeling of loneliness that eats at you.
I also think about his relationship with Dumbledore. A broken man went to Dumbledore for help, and Dumbledore used him. It’s not that I believe Snape should have been relieved of any responsibility he should have had for his bad decisions, but Dumbledore (as we find out) is by no means perfect, and he knew that…but he felt like it was okay to beat an already broken man and take advantage of him on the premise that Snape somehow needed to repent to Dumbledore for his sins. A Merlin complex if I’ve ever seen one.
I understand; in this situation too that Snape is by no means innocent, but I don’t really care. No one gets to play god. Not even Dumbledore.
I think it hurt Snape more because he was a Slytherin. Only a very emotional, desperate and weak feeling Snake would allow themselves to be manipulated in such a way.
I am definitely not excusing Snape’s behaviour in any way. Especially as a teacher.
But, I can understand the negative feelings and bitterness.
I feel it (the bitterness) creeping over me. And it is hard to stop. I feel like it can’t be stopped. Everyday, I grow more pessimistic about the world and life in general. I feel like I will never find happiness—that I am not meant to find happiness.
I feel so very sure that I will lead a very bitter, unhappy and unsatisfying life.
I understand how it feels to have no hope. To feel so destroyed, that you believe there is no turning back. That life will just get exceedingly worse as time goes on.
That is a lot to have on one’s shoulders, and so I feel for Snape.
Snape is of course a fictional character, but many people’s attitude toward his character is a bit unsettling.
I feel myself shifting into a bitter arsehole, and as I look at how many people hate him, I begin to understand that people will hate me too.
Of course, since I know this, I could change my attitude. I could try to become a more positive person. I could seek out people and try to form friendships and create my own happiness—as no one will hand it to me on a platter…
But alas, my Slytherin ambition is broken and I’m too lazy to repair it.
I should probably get my shit together though.
I mean we only have one life (though I am totally counting on reincarnation in the form of transitioning to another dimension ^_^), so I should do things and see things and feel things and idk…stuff. I like stuff. Like fun stuff and weird stuff and art stuff and music stuff and literary stuff. And cats.